


The Ballad of Captain America's Disapproving Face

by Cluegirl



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Filk, Gen, Humor, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 09:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/885487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cluegirl/pseuds/Cluegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you can't tell Captain America what you're up to, you probably shouldn't be doing it"<br/>-- Copperbadge</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ballad of Captain America's Disapproving Face

**Author's Note:**

  * For [copperbadge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/copperbadge/gifts).



> Sung to the tune of [The Ballad of Lizzie Borden](http://youtu.be/7wlO-J0v9ZY) by the Chad Mitchell Trio. But really, it's all Sam's fault.
> 
> For those who need to hear _this_ song out loud to really grasp its depth and nuance, here's a link; [The Ballad of Captain America's Disapproving Face by Murder Ballads](https://soundcloud.com/murder-ballads/the-ballad-of-captain-americas-disapproving-face-pre-release-draft). Enjoy!

Yesterday in New York City, Dr. Richards made a call  
Through a trans-dimensional portal he'd just finished down the hall  
But the charges were accepted by an ancient alien beast  
And his army -- the Avengers were not pleased, to say the least.  
And if you can't tell the Captain what you're doing, Richards,  
Your plan has probably got a deadly fault  
If you can't tell the Captain what you're up to, you know,  
You probably shouldn't do it at all.

Now it wasn't long ago that Iron Man took up a cause  
To enforce a kind of order; give the super-powered pause  
So he compromised his ethics and his honor and his friends  
Till he won! But what he lost just wasn't worth it in the end.  
So if you can't tell the Captain what you're doing, Tony,  
It won't be only him that looks appalled  
No, if you can't tell the Captain what you're up to, genius,  
You shouldn't get up to it at all.

But it isn't just the futurists who need some common sense  
For S.H.I.E.L.D. has screwed its share of pooches without recompense  
In the name of World security, a man must sometimes lie  
But it isn't just integrity that winds up compromised.  
And if you can't tell the Captain what you're up to, Fury,  
You won't like how the chips are gonna fall.  
'Cause if you can't tell the Captain what you're meddling with  
You shouldn't meddle with it at all.

Now I won't say Cap's infallible, or that he's always right  
He's temperamental, judgey, and dear God, the man's uptight,  
But that conscience is a litmus test, those ethics sure and sound  
So just meet his eye and own your shit, or put that shovel down!  
'Cause if you can't tell the Captain what you're up to, people,  
You probably wanna make a different call.  
No, if you can't tell the Captain what you're messing with  
You probably oughtn't mess with it at all

If you can't tell the Captain what you're up to, people,  
(Purge the files and leave no trace! Here comes the Captain's frowny face!)

If you can't tell the Captain what you're up to, people,  
(Guilty? Anxious? Feel like Hell? Better get ready with a memory spell!)

If you can't tell the Captain what you're up to, people,  
(Thinking twice is such a bore -- that's what Captain America's for!)

No, if you can't tell the Captain what you're up to,  
You shouldn't get up to it at all!


End file.
